Integration for a Balanced Life

Until I had a child, balancing my personal life and work was not that difficult. Except for brief periods, my work was the priority and everything else revolved around it. With just me to worry about, life was not that complicated. The bills got paid on time, I exercised regularly, saw my non-work-related friends pretty often and did not even think about "balance."

Then I got married and moved into the worlds of home ownership and eventually parenthood. The "to do" list on the personal life side of the equation got longer and more demanding. Life/work balance took on more meaning and the attainment of it seemed an elusive achievement. It now required a constant monitoring of what is the priority, what needs to be the priority, and maintaining so as not to sink into crisis management.

There have been spans of time when all seemed to flow well and smoothly. And just when I thought I had figured out the formula to this flow, life threw me a curve ball. My spouse's work travel commitments increased, someone in the family got ill, or I said "yes" to one to many requests for my time.

Balance used to be defined in my mind as compartmentalizing my time in an equitable way so that each life domain - work, family, community, friends and "me", could get its basic needs met -- plus some on a good day. Sometimes the work compartment got a bigger hunk, (usually), and the "me" compartment had to do with less time and attention for a while. Or maybe the work, the friends, and the "me" compartments went wanting, so I could deal with a crisis in the family compartment. It was all give and take, each in its separate box.

A few weeks ago I attended a presentation at a professional conference and listened to David Rendall talk about time management. He challenged those of us in the room to think, not in terms of life balance, but life integration. As I thought about this concept, I realized that in many ways, an integration of various aspects of my life had been occurring over the last few years anyway -- mostly with the help of technology. Instead of separate boxes and time chunks for the different areas of my life, things overlap more, or move back and forth more fluidly.

Flexing my workday on Tuesdays allows me to take my daughter to her horseback riding lesson. Sitting by the barn, I can still return work-related calls and not get too far behind. Or, after dinner while homework is getting done, I can get on my computer and continue to draft that report for work.

Many bosses today are more open to flexing schedules and telecommuting as the workforce demands it, and as they themselves experience the same life/work pressures. Before the industrial age, work and life was pretty integrated. The family worked together creating the product they sold or traded, growing their own food, and making their own clothes. Communities came together to help one another build a barn, socialize or take care of an ill elder.

While I think integration can be a key to balance, I do believe that integration without limits can just as easily create imbalance. Can we embrace the technology that allows us to work or talk to friends and relatives anywhere and anytime, but still have the discipline to not check the email one more time, or the commitment to let voice mail get the call when your child or spouse is telling you about their day?

I am still learning how to balance integration and boundaries for this thing some of us strive for called work/life balance. What do you think having a totally integrated, balanced life would look like?